Small Statues of Boynton Beach: Part One

Every winter I visit Boynton Beach, Florida. It is a world of gated communities packed with Long Island transplants and enormous chain drugstores at every intersection.  These secure and sanitized neighborhoods are not unlike the fictitious “Del Boca Vista” of Seinfeld fame. Here is a list of real community names. You can make up your own for fun, if you need a distraction, like if you’re trapped in a hermetically-sealed home with advance climate control and you can’t sleep and you’re afraid to open the window because you might set off an alarm, or you’re afraid to go outside for a walk because you might set off an alarm, and your flight back to NYC is cancelled because of a Nor’easter and you’re going out of your mind staring at a purple beanie baby in a Lucite box…this is just an example, of course. My favorite fake name is “Aisle Isles”, which sums up the aesthetic juxtaposition of abundant Costcos and faux European entrance ways with spritzing over-sized fountains. Anyway, “the communities” have many rules that restrict what you can do to your home, regarding approved paint colors and authorized shingles, so basically you should not drink to excess or you will possibly mistake your neighbor’s house for your own and attempt to enter and set off those ever-present alarms before you even get a chance to kiss someone else’s spouse (by mistake). So how do the residents of these communities express their creativity under such constraints? They battle imposed conformity and a somewhat fascistic sense of color coordination with their choice of small statues, of course. It seems there are no rules when it comes to that! So go crazy with your froggies and angels, retirees!

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